This past October my mother died. This will be the first Mother’s Day without her. The emptiness in my heart will never be filled. My mom was one of the ONLY people I spoke to on a daily basis. She loved and accepted me for who I am. She was proud of me. So, that kind of gives you an idea of how important she was to me. And I was proud of her because our path hasn’t always been this good. We definitely had our personal ups and downs. But, we grew into a really good place with one another.
My mom had me at 15, meaning we pretty much grew up together. Me now being 32 and having a 3 year old of my own, I fully understand why sometimes my mom was extra hard on me. She was over protective but, she was also my best friend!
In 2014, my ex wife and I welcomed a beautiful baby girl into this world. It was one of the best experiences of my life. It was the best decision of my life. My mom use to always say, “I’d have you the exact same way in a heart beat because I wouldn’t change anything about you.”. My love for my daughter has been the same since knowing of her existence after the insemination.
I was the first to hold her. I cut her umbilical cord, saw her take her first steps. I heard her call me momma for the first time and I’m still experiencing firsts with her all the time. Her mommy (she’s mommy) and I (I’m momma) co-parent, but it doesn’t stop the love we both give her all the time.
My baby has been very important in my grieving process after losing my mom. She don’t know how vital her role is in my life now since I no longer have a mom. My daughter has changed me completely. I’ve never known a love like what I have for my child. I will give her my last breath if she needed it.
This Mother’s Day will be bittersweet for me. I no longer have my mom, but I will go to my last breath making sure my daughter is raised with love, discipline, faith, education and a mind of her own knowing her worth. I want my baby to know love when she sees it and when to walk away from poison.
Love strengthens you. Love makes you happy. Love helps make you a better person. My mom gave and showed me that. Now I only hope I can give that and more to my baby.
Momma loves you Daley Jordan
Happy Mother’s Day Mom- I love you and I miss you